The past two days have been pretty rough on me. I finally decided to ask for help on a problem that I have been having for quite some time now. I was very surprised and grateful for all the constructive help I had gotten. After all the things that L said (you're crazy, just the psycho girlfriend who wants to control me etc.) I had actually started to believe that I was just being stupid and the only problem was within me but I swallowed my fear and got ready for criticism when I posted the question. To my surprise, everyone in the CS was amazingly supportive and helpful and I gained a lot of insight from everyone who gave me advice and help. The only problem was the conclusion I finally came to. After discussing with everyone exactly what was going on, the only actual solution (or at least an attempt) was for me to pack up and leave. It might serve as a wake up call or it might not but at least I'd regain my sanity. I finally realized exactly why I hold on to him so tight!! J**!! He knew J and he was the first person I dated after I accepted J being gone, he was so supportive and understanding that I think I fell in love with him very fast and that's whats making it hard to let go. I don't know how I'm going to, and I know its going to be hard but my hope is that L will get better and learn to be happy again.
** J was my best friend/boyfriend all through middle/high school. He passed away in a car accident during my Sophomore year along with another good friend of mine, R. Losing my boyfriend and best friend like that when I did all I could to save him was hard. To see him lying there and nothing I could do to change it still haunts my dreams to this day. I loved him.
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