A letter to him

Dear L,

I'm not sure where to begin exactly. This is FINALLY my chance to tell you everything I've wanted to say for the last 4 years.

I"M DONE!!!

Fuck you and all the bull shit you put me through. You deserve whatever comes your way at this point because you bring it all on yourself. You're selfish and childish and in for a rude awakening when you find out that the world does NOT revolve around you.

You've used your mind games to make me feel lower than dirt for long enough and now its time for you to have to experience your own games....alone. I thought I'd be sad to write this to you but actually its opening so many doors for me! I'm going to finish school my way because YOU aren't going to weigh me down with your excuse after excuse of why you can't do your own work. I'm going to get a job that I LIKE because I won't have to worry about what you think of me working. You never wanted me to work. If you could have it your way, I'd be locked in the house alone all day and wait for you. My whole world would revolve around you if it was your decision.

Look at it this way, now you have all the time in the world to spend with your porn. :-) You don't have to thank me now. I get it. You now can devote your ENTIRE day to porn. Those girls will never get boring because it doesn't matter if its 1 in the morning, they'll always be waiting for you. You don't have to worry about staying hard anymore because...they'll never know. Its looking like a win win situation for both of us.

I don't care what you think of me. You can call me a whore, slut, cunt, bitch, whatever you want. I've heard it all before and it doesn't phase me anymore. You've been cruel and down right mean which I now thank you for because it'll only make me stronger knowing that you'll spend the rest of your life alone. Just like your father. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

There's an app on your phone, its called a calendar, that you can use to remind you to brush your teeth and pay your bills. I'm sure it won't be as nagging as me....but you'll like that too.

Oh! I almost forgot, you will now have all the free time in the world to play video games.

I'll also have enough money to finally fix the car that you forced me to get but wouldn't help me fix. Even though it left me in the middle of downtown at night. Now you can stay at home and do your thing with your $25,000 car while I rely on people who actually care to help me fix mine.

I can actually be ME again. A person that I almost forgot existed because she embarrassed you or told jokes that were "stupid" which just means that you're too stupid to understand. I can play my music, and watch movies that actually have a plot and dance and go for runs and eat what I want and talk to whoever I want.

Believe it or not, I used to have a lot of friends until you came along. They all left when you got here and the ones that didn't, you forced out.

You're too insecure with yourself to be able to handle the fact that SOMEONE might actually want to be my friend. You can't even handle me talking to GIRLS!! But you can go hang out with your "friends" FUCK YOU!!

BASTARD!!

Yeah, I said it. FUCK YOU and your double standards bull shit. I can't even read cosmo because it has guys in it but you watch porn for HOURS A DAY? I can't have a nice conversation with someone from work because they are a man so I'm obviously fucking him but you can talk to the bitch who flashed you and asked to suck your dick? Umm NO!!!!

I've learned to HATE that I love you. Unfortunately, I can't STOP loving you. So I'm going to leave you and hate who you are but love the "idea" of you. That way I can actually be happy in life and you can do whatever the fuck it is you think is necessary to sustain your existence. I don't give a shit anymore if you have to go live with mommy. She wipes your ass for you anyway, why can't you live in her house? Its embarrassing?

SHE BOUGHT YOUR CAR!!! Sure, you make payments on it but you could have never gotten it without you. Even I tied up my credit for another car for YOU. You've had 5 cars and 11 (yes, FUCKING ELEVEN) jobs in the time we've been together. Nothing will ever be good enough for you....EVER.

You're a nasty, backstabbing, snaky, little bitch who can't survive on his own but will step on anyone that you have to to get what you want.

You hate my 10 and 8 year old sisters because they annoy you? Or because they charge you a quarter for every cuss word you say? They like to fucking play you dick! I know its not about you so its hard for you to understand where they're coming from....but just because they are in your house doesn't mean that you can cuss like a sailor and watch violent films because you "don't like" what they watch.

I could go on for days about all the reasons that I fucking hate you but I'm done wasting my time on your useless existence. I'm leaving.

Good luck with whatever bull shit excuse of a life you have left.