Me

It’s been a while since I’ve been here. I let life sweep me away for a while. That’s the best excuse I could come up with I suppose. 

The truth is that I have been doing some self reflecting and self transformation over the past month or so. 

There are a lot of people that I let forget how much they mean to me and I let myself forget who I am in the midst of all the stress and things pulling me down.

Good news?

I’m working on getting myself back. That’s the girl that I’ve been missing for quite a while and I’m glad she’s back. At the same time, I’ve lost time that I’ll never get back. That’s done now and I’m not going to dwell on what I can’t fix and worry about changing the things that I can.

I haven’t been the person I should have been all this time and I’ve taken people and the things in my life for granted.

I’ve been told that before by other people but I suppose I’m too stubborn to actually listen to them. It took a rude awakening to shake me into seeing the truth for what it was. It turns out that the reality was much more rugged than the lines that my rainbow color glasses had led me to believe.

The glasses are off now and I’m trying to smooth out the edges of this reality that I’ve created unknowingly (or maybe it was knowingly. I’m not really sure anymore) and take a new path. Where that path leads, I’m not really sure. I do know one thing it’s going to need to be cleared because I’ve made a mess out of it.

Fighting the urge to go back to my old ways and numb myself from the hard work it’s going to take to let everyone see the good person that lies behind my façade but I’m ready to show the world that I exist. Me. Not the girl that I THOUGHT everyone would want to see or the girl that I thought 

everyone wanted me to be.

Just me.

I figure that if I’m real, I’ll find real people to surround myself with. Maybe then, no, ONLY then will I be able to truly find happiness.

Life is filled with superficial encounters. Those turn into relationships. Relationships are based off of communication.

Sometimes that communication is all a lie.

SURPRISE!

I haven’t been true to myself. Therefore I haven’t been true to those around me. Luckily some people saw that and loved me anyway.

Those are the people that I want to show the real me to.

They deserve it.

I deserve it.

It’s time.

Hello world, I’m Kristy! Take it or leave it but you get what you see from now on.